I'm building a co-dependent relationship with me and swimming.

What a big last many days it has been.  It began with some hoopla and a lot of fear and questions.  I was getting so carried away with questions I could not answer.  I realized that I have enough questions on my own that need answering - to see these external circumstance clearly.  My view has turned into not looking outward, but keeping it simple.  Starting with what I know.  Me.

When I look inward, I realize that I've had this big fear of being self-absorbed and taking care of my own needs.  Like it is an unnecessarily lavish thing to do.  In a moment, something shifted, and I'm finally starting to viscerally experience it's ridiculousness.  Experience is so much more powerful than thoughts. And talking about my experience has brought so many relationships, new and old, to the forefront and I realize that when I am in need of some support, presence, sisterhood, love, and honesty - it is here.

When I am clear with my intentions, it is more than phenomenal as to what the world puts into your hands.  It is that fearlessness and open heartedness once again.

A deep thank you.

Questions.
How to hear through the clutter of habit.
How to hear our own hearts and needs.

This is where I am.

I am taking many paths to understand these answers.  From sitting in the morning, feeling...feeling...into my heart.  As my friend Lucky says, allowing my brain to rest in my heart,  honoring myself and what I feel within me 100%.

I'm choosing my path, making my own decisions on how I use my time and owning it.  Even during the rich farm day, drinking good tonics and taking breaks.  What! I can take breaks and be as productive.  And taking care of my body.  I have been making joyful smoothies for breakfast and dinner and then eating a large nutritive meal at lunch and this is feeling so right on for my physical and spirit being really.  And swimming! Swimming as often as I can.  I am a mermaid at heart and need to be submerged in water to remain alive.  And beyond this, I am talking with lots of wonderful people and hearing their wisdom and insight.  Feeling the elation that comes from connection.

I am really trying to break through.
To break through to truth.
It's at my soil covered fingertips
and yet some things need to shift to reach through.

In time.
Patience.
The path is the journey.



Here is my current favorite drink:
Parsley Blueberry Kale Shake

2 cups almond milk (I soaked almonds in water, but any 'ol chemical free milk will do)
4 kale leaves (remove spine)
7 parsley stalks (remove spine)
1 cup frozen blueberries
3 dates
powders of choice.  (i've been using health force powders, the maca one and the green sage protein)
Blend it on up.

I've been finding them more delicious once cooled down, leaving them in the refrigerator for an hour. 


In-joy.