Thursday, June 27, 2013

How to be a Leader & Enjoy Life

A large part of my world right now is being a farm manager.  I find it so difficult and confusing at times.  Specifically how to be helpful and how to hold the right space and right direction to bring the most out of people and to get the work done.  I read this bit from a Shambhala teacher John Rockwell today and found it very helpful:

He shared that he was not too happy in the beginning, "because it was extremely difficult...I really struggled with what it means to be a leader.  I thought I should be very proactive and know what I'm doing, and call the troops to order, and lead the charge." Reading the Shambhala teachings, he discovered that, "the best thing was to take my seat and do nothing, and see what comes up and begin to learn from the people around me.  It's much more about the team; and the environment will teach you what you need to know and what's happening." It was at that point that he found he could respond and be in tune rather than having to "crank something up."



Lavandula & Althaea officinalis

There is this ongoing joke with the crew when we gather for our morning meeting when we put "Jam Garden" on our task list.  We have a garden on a slightly ignored side of the property that hosts a mingling of plants that could produce some tasty jams.  These were planted three seasons ago in 2011.  Next to this garden we have hundreds of feet of currants that we planted last year.  We go to these spaces to check in about once every four months! 

This week I was committed to going over and cleaning up the space.  Weedwacking and mowing so the plants had more of a chance to live and so someone would want to spend time in there.  Allyson took on weedwacking and I used our tiny riding mower that had certainly never taken on a mission like this one. 

It took us the first half of the day to uncover the space.  We found all of this fruit!  It has begun to produce! Since, I have marked my calendar to pay a visit to the fruit every two weeks.







Sambucus "Elder, flower"


Rosa Rugosa

Gooseberry.
Mulberry
In other news....
Opening 4 more acres! Can you see the tractor way in the distance over the rolling hills.

Narcissa.  Always chewing.  Chew. Chew. Chew.
Living simply.  Nourishing and resting - consistently.





Tuesday, June 25, 2013

We are Delusional, Sometimes.





Sitting quietly
doing nothing
Spring comes
and the grass grow 
by itself*

{*zen saying}






Part I:


A darlin' x soul sister friend and I went to a day retreat with Anam Thubten the other Sunday.  A main topic was that the majority of our experience is delusional.  Being delusional in this case is believing our thoughts, believing our own perceptions as reality.

The notion is that as we develop and age, we create thoughts in our mind and those thoughts once repeated, become our reality.

Our thoughts become truths.
It is no longer just a passing cloud that dissipates, allowing the next experience to arise and show itself.

This is so major because most of us are over-run by our thoughts.  All day long we have a handful of repetitive thoughts and our thoughts and attachment to these thoughts allow us to have an identity.  They give us some "thing" to stand on.  Yet our thoughts are often just assumptions put together, creating beliefs that we decide at some point are true, are real.

So each morning we wake up and immediately grasp onto these beliefs.  I am ....  They think.... This world is ....  My job is....  I am right or wrong because ....  They are wrong or right because .... Success means ....  The perfect ... means ....  Beauty is .... Ugly is.... and so on.

I'm tired.
It's tiring to hold on to so much.
It's limiting.
And it's a fun game to point out minute by minute delusions!

So lately when I feel crumminess.  Any closing down in my heart or tightness in my physical body.  If I am conscious enough in that moment I playfully identify where the delusion lies.

So for instance.  Today I was feeling guilty about being a bit abrupt in response to a question.  And I started to percolate on the guilt and on excuses as to why I was so abrupt: "Well I don't have the time to answer that question""Gosh, I'm such a jerk.  Why couldn't I just be more patient." "They probably don't like me right now."  These are certainly responses I have had many times before.  And where am I getting with this?

So.  Pausing.  I see my delusions.  I see that I am trying to create reality about why this happened and the issue etc.  And in this instance I walked directly to the person and was straight up with them.  "I want to be more patient.  Ask me that question anytime"  And instead of getting carried away thinking about how they now responded to this situation.  That's it.  Let it go.  And continue to practice coming to the present and living.  Coming to the present and responding from this place.  Not responding from the mind's delusions.  The "mental disorders."

And when I walk through the garden, my mind can be so fixed as to what is orderly, what is unacceptable under my terms of a good garden and so those delusions are under examination.  I'm working on seeing what is in need of attention, prioritizing them and just going from there.  Instead of adding layers of thoughts/worry/comparison.  I simply begin.

The main things is that our thoughts don't have to be counteracted with thoughts.  Our thoughts can be befriended by simply existing.  Sounds so simple but it is a life journey!  We must not forget this, as it is so easy to be difficult on ourselves about our transformation.

Each day
Each breath
An opportunity to exist, to listen, to love ourselves and all those around us.
And none of these opportunities necessitate words (to form thoughts and judgement.)
Free opportunities.

Let's be here now.


And now.

And say we forget for days...for months...for years.
It's never too late.


Now.
now.


Simply
Lovingly
Exist.


Part II: 



And Anam also continued to emphasize something we hear all of the time:
"Everything is within your consciousness."
As both samsara and nirvana come from our thoughts.
Happiness and unhappiness come from our thoughts.

Yet to know this with our heart is much different than understanding this mentally.

What is the path to freedom?
What am I doing on this planet?
What is my path- in regards to relationship, professional, family...?

This is all within.
The process of meditation is to look within ourselves and to see why we suffer.  And from that we grow compassionate.  We grow sensitive.    We grow wise.  We grow fearless.
And when we look inside we ask ourselves directly the answers to our questions.  And this particular self, is the true self, free from mental delusion.

(And one might be saying, well I'm not free yet of my delusion, but we all have moments of freedom if we can step into the present.)




Life is messy and beautiful and so on.

time to let it all in.

May this be of benefit.  

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Joyful Summer Solstice to all the flora, fauna, people and the inbetween and around


It just hit me today that tomorrow is the longest day of light for this year.  How incredible.  
And it makes sense as if feels we have been living in the garden. 

Here are some photographs from the week.


Scattered bloom of Calendula



Look what I found in the garden pathway:  a Hungarian Blue Bread Poppy





Linden flowers


In the shady nook a the base of the River Garden, 
Patrick is making soil blocks for our fall succession of Cauliflowers




We bagged up over a hundred tea bags for an event this weekend, here are some
and some balms as well for the occasion.


I mentioned previously that I had stored some peonies in the cooler to see if we could have an extra month of peonies.  I harvested at two points in their life.  First when they were tightly budded and then when the bud was opening and was soft to the squeeze.  I set them in water this week and here is what happened:


The top image is of the more tightly budded peonies which are s-l-ow-ly opening.  This is after a week.  The more mature peonies have revealed their inner self in a matter of two days.  Success! and the scent is magnificent.





The Lower River Garden Summer, Day One.





Annie Leibovitz showed her images on the Hudson Valley along the Cavern wall yesterday
and strawberries! so! many strawberries we are lucky to harvest daily.

I went with Zach to pick up a sickle mower.  He has been very enthusiastic about using more of our pastures for hay production, using minimal methods.  It was a very fascinating experience to witness for reasons I will not go into.  But it gave me the time to document the entire exchange as I did not have much else to do.  Here is a photograph of Zach with the implement manual in hand deciding what to do.   We did end up bringing the mower back to the farm and right now I can hear him cutting away.



The Silo lit up.



Saturday, June 15, 2013

Success.



An interesting article from the New York Times.
June 14, 2013

A Call for a Movement to Redefine the Successful Life




EVERY day, news releases and books cross my desk that promise success in all sorts of areas — getting a job, getting a better job, managing your employees, managing your boss, managing your relationships.

Some are interesting, some are ridiculous and many are repetitive takes on the same theme. But recently, I came across two items that, separately, talked about an issue I’ve tackled before in one of my columns — questioning what we actually mean by success.
That column, which appeared almost a year ago to the day, discussed how we shouldn’t always aim for the extraordinary, but celebrate the ordinary. It was one of my most popular articles ever.
So I was intrigued when I was told that a conference was being held on the very issue of redefining success. And, separately, that American Express had recently released a study showing that Americans were thinking of success in different ways than in the past.
“The Third Metric: Redefining Success Beyond Money & Power” was the conference presented last week by Mika Brzezinski, host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” and Arianna Huffington, editor in chief of the Huffington Post, at Ms. Huffington’s new apartment in TriBeCa (some 200 people squeezed into her living room).
Panels, covering topics ranging from “Managing a Frenetic Life” to “Wellness and the Bottom Line,” featured a number of prominent people, among them the actress Candice Bergen and Valerie Jarrett, a senior adviser to President Obama.
The message, one that Ms. Huffington is promoting in her publication and in speeches, is particularly aimed at women. “The way we define success isn’t working,” Ms. Huffington said at the conference. “More, bigger, better — we can’t do that anymore.”
The concepts seem a little fuzzy at times, but the overarching thesis is that it is time to rethink the common wisdom of how to achieve success: sleep four hours a night, work 20 hours a day, see your family rarely and never admit the need for downtime.
That system is wearing us down, Ms. Huffington said. In her commencement speech this year at Smith College, she told students, “If we don’t redefine success, the personal price we pay will get higher and higher. And as the data shows, the price is even higher for women than for men. Already women in stressful jobs have a nearly 40 percent increased risk of heart disease and a 60 percent greater risk for diabetes.
“Right now, America’s workplace culture is practically fueled by stress, sleep deprivation and burnout,” she said.
The answer? To create a movement that embraces the idea that physical and spiritual wellness — from meditation to exercise to good nutrition — are integral to, not separate from, a successful life.
She cited as one example the two nap rooms available for Huffington Post employees, which employees were at first afraid to use because they feared it looked as if they were shirking their duties. Now they are always booked.
Another answer: To build workplaces where empathy and kindness are rewarded, in the somewhat corny terminology of the speakers, where a go-giver is as desirable as a go-getter.
It all sounds wonderful, of course, but how does this fit into our society? Many people are working harder for less money, are concerned less about spiritual wholeness than basic health care, and find it hard to carve out time for a short coffee break, let alone a nap.
“This is well-intentioned and important,” Senator Claire McCaskill, Democrat of Missouri, said to me after she spoke at the conference, while acknowledging that “it’s luxurious to have the ability to rethink time in your life.”
It is easy to dismiss these ideas as the privileges available only to those who no longer have to worry about money or power. But perhaps a better reaction would be to find a way to incorporate them into public policy and to ensure that such ideas find their way from the bosses to the workers.
“The whole issue of overwork cuts across class,” said Ellen Galinsky, president of the nonprofit Families and Work Institute. “We consistently find that one out of three employees feel overwhelmed by everything they have to do at work.”
The institute’s latest National Study of the Changing Workforce conducted in 2008 — phone interviews of more than 3,000 Americans — found that the No. 1 correlation between better health, such as less frequent minor health problems and fewer signs of depression, was economic security.
The next are “work-life fit” and “autonomy” or more control over your work environment.
Ms. Galinsky and Ms. Huffington agreed that the phrase work/life balance should have been retired long ago.
“For decades, I’ve hated the term work/life balance,” Ms. Galinsky said. “It implies a scale where one thing takes away from the other. A good life can enhance your job and vice versa.” A work/life fit, she said, doesn’t keep work on one side of the equation and life on the other, but weaves them together.
Some examples are schedule flexibility and co-workers and supervisors who are supportive and responsive to personal and family business.
Ms. Galinsky said her institute had drawn up a list of six criteria for an effective workplace, with effective being defined as having employees who are highly engaged, satisfied and planning to remain with their organization.
These criteria are: challenging and learning on the job, autonomy, work-life fit, support from a supervisor, a work climate of respect and trust and, of course, economic security.
“There is no one magic bullet,” she said. “We have six ingredients and none are stand-alone. It’s not just about flexibility — flexibility and a horrible boss don’t make a wonderful life.”
The idea that people are eager to find — or define — success outside the normal parameters is backed up by a study done for American Express.
The top ways people define a successful life, according to the study: Being in good health, finding time for the important things in life, having a good marriage/relationship and knowing how to spend money well.
The Futures Company, which assisted in the American Express study, also issues the annual U.S. Yankelovich Monitor, a report that has been conducted since 1971 that assesses Americans’ attitudes, lifestyles and values.
According to the Monitor report, many fewer people see owning an expensive car as a sign of success, while being satisfied and in control of your life have grown over the years.
“It doesn’t mean that material success is unimportant,” said Peter J. Rose, senior vice president of the Futures Company. Rather, intangibles, like a good marriage and being able to take a day off when desired have grown in importance when defining success.
The Third Metric conference and the American Express study demonstrate a trend — or maybe the hope of a trend — that we can reinterpret success beyond the traditional signposts of wealth and concrete achievement.
As Ms. Galinsky said, it’s a good philosophy and goal to aim for, but the real question will be, “How do we make the ideas applicable to everyone in the work force, not just to those who are already very successful?”


True Self

Tomorrow I am so grateful to have a day to practice and to listen to Anam Thubten.   I am going with a dear friend so that is quite special as well.  I opened up one of Anam Thubten writings today and came to this page.


... in the end we have to integrate spiritual practice with everyday life where awareness and mindfulness bless our activities and interactions in each and every moment.  When we live with awareness, our delusions and suffering begin to wither away.

Actually in the beginning we may have to struggle.  If we are getting on the path of nonattachment in a serious way for the first time, there will be some struggle.  There will be moments when we notice that we have failed time after time.  Sometimes we feel that we have failed so much on this path of nonattachment that we think we should give up completely.  Actually failing is absolutely fine because we have already completely and utterly failed.  Why are we afraid of failing agin?  We have failed so completely that we have lost the sense of who we are.  We have lost our unity with our true nature.  We have lost the realization of who we are and that is the greatest failure there is.  Nothing else is really a tragedy or a real serious failure in comparison with the failure of losing our unity with out true nature.  This has already happened to all of us from the very beginning and that is why it is impossible to really fail again.  Any subsequent failure is just an idea.  "Oh, I am losing my job.  I failed.  I didn't pass my test.  I failed again.  My relationship is falling apart.  I failed again.  My meditation is filled with turbulence.  I failed.  I wasn't able to live the life that I fantasized.  I am not able to live according to my ideal standards.  I failed."  

These are all concepts.

The true failure is that we have lost our unity with our true nature.  Beyond that there is no failure.  Everything else is simply a perception, an idea....

The fundamental premise of all mystical teachings is that there is a divine nature in all of us.  In Buddhism we call this Buddha Nature.  When we no longer identify with external conditions we are in the realm of equanimity.  We are one with our true nature, which is completely indestructible, perfect and sublime as it is, forever....  In the same way our true essence is indestructible.  It can never be injured by anything.  In every moment we are absolutely perfect because our true nature is indestructible. Our true nature can not be conditioned by anything.  

Our true essence is perfectly sublime and divine.  It is the highest thing in this universe.  It is the most sacred entity.  The true nature that we all share is more sacred than anything else.  So if we are able to simply identify with our true nature, our pure consciousness, then all of our suffering is gone.  That's liberation.  That's it.  There is nothing more than that.  That's it.  Once we identify with our pure consciousness, that's enlightenment.  That's liberation.  That's moksha.  There nothing more than that.  Then fulfillment is always there without needing anything from the outside.  



To freedom!
Let's do this.





Nutrition & The Spice of Life



I went to my botanical medicine teacher's graduate class so he could do a case study of my well-being to help the class see how the process works...what to look for in the patients emotional state, physical state and lab work and what to ask.  Ofcourse it was fascinating to be on front of so many people that are holding my medical records and seeing my history of health and imbalance, but what strikes me currently is the conversation we had about my food intake.

I grow food and eat that food and am an extreme-ly seasonal eater.  I buy in nuts, seeds, grains and fruit, but keep the rotation pretty regular.  My teacher was not impressed by my diet and said it needed more variety and more vegetables...this was in early April when I was eating vegetables and grains we had stored and fresh greens that were coming up.  He follows the notion of eating in thirds.  A third of ones diet is based on ethnicity, a third of what is in season and the last third on healthy choices.  I appreciate his train of thought.

I have to say that I have never been a lover of cooking.  I've always leaned towards baking: as pulling a cake together or a pie is like putting a bunch of ingredients together, placing them in a magical box and out comes edible joy and color.  Cooking never felt so simple or enticing.  I've kind of always had this way of getting into a rhythm of meals and sticking with them.  Yet under the repetitiveness I am always craving different flavors, all the time, but it's never been something that crucial on my list of priorities.

What we eat is the basis of our health, because if we are fortunate,  most of us eat everyday of our lives.    It is a big deal.  Being nutritionally sustained allows other parts of our life to prosper.  At first after pondering a bit on the subject, I had intended to make a unique meal each day.  I began with a purslane, lambsquarter, oxalis salad with some sheep ricotta and sunflower seeds and dressed with a nutritive apple cider vinegar I had steeped a while back and felt satisfied by success.  But then when the next meal came around I just didn't want to make the time for it.  So I think a more reasonable goal for this summer is to make a new meal for each week.  A large meal that last a few days.  Maybe even two new meals a week, but to keep it simple.  I do not need to love cooking and to want to be in the kitchen all of the time, but I can find a way to make it work.

Today I am going to make an escarole walnut salad...

Tomatoes and Brassicas growing on and on, over the rolling hills.



Honey Jars Just Painted
Our first flowers Hypericum perforatum, "St. John's wort"



I do have to say I wonder about the whole variety is the spice of life thing.  When I think of the breath.  Each breath is distinct.  Each breath is it's own adventure, it's own expression, it's own tune.  Could I perhaps be so available to each bit of food that I could eat the same meal over and over for my lifetime and somehow tap into nutrients that haven't been scientifically proven to be accessible, or present?

What cultures eat the same thing all the time and lead vibrant long lives?  I would love to know this.

Glorious Calendula Varieties from Wild Garden Seed






Monday, June 10, 2013

TOO MUCH TO DO SO I’M WRITING A POEM WITH THE MOON IN MY BELLY.


Frenetic blood flow
and dash-ing thoughts –
dear footless, contented feeling –

rain thups

thoughtless focus--

a perfect situation for blowing up balloons
and not going to the party





Sitting here,
                                    moving.












Sunday, June 9, 2013

June Morning Thoughts.


The plant kingdom is springing in the four directions.  For all the life that rests below the soil and the few hands that tend to it -- there is a constant desire to remain in movement both in thought and in body.  As winter turns into this spring, and this plant life awakens there is a sense of relief, knowing that the family is alright.  And then the plant family grows.  Extended relatives show up and it's a lot to hold together.  The momentum of the growing season pulls one in and it is time to surrender, (or struggle.)

There is this saying, "keep up, and you will be kept up." I think this is how this relationship works.  As we tug on a one weed, right under the surface we are gently awakening another weed seed.  And often all we can do is keep up.

At the end of a full day in the fertile air -- we have to let go -- to step away and tend to other families in our life that need to be kept up.  The family of meals, the family of dishes, the family of cleanliness, the family of friendship and love.

--

Each morning as I awaken, I must do everything in my power to march myself up the stairs to go sit on the cushion.  Sometimes I must talk aloud about the process.  And then I sit and it is the same feeling.  Keep up and you will be kept up.  Each morning, through each session of meditation.

Afterwards, when I walk into the fields and gardens it is with a mind a bit more spacious.  And then coming from this place, I can surrender to the plant kingdoms power and complexity.  Oftentimes I wonder if a mind can be trained completely within the garden.  With our feet rooted on the ground and our hands in touch with the many textures of the sun.  Well with my karma, I find, if I do not make it up to sit regularly the life of the garden consumes me and I can not hold my mind in any sort of vastness.

--

The keeping up in this sense, both in the garden and in meditation must be tied to a sense of joy.  A sense of meaning.  Not a mindless keeping up, like chasing after a bone over and over again.  There is a need to revisit why to keep up at all.  A greater view to hold, so our heart and mind are not numbed by the pace, by the repetitiveness, by the drive to continue.  So that our hearts and minds are enlivened and enriched and so that this overflows into all sentient and non-sentient beings.



May our efforts and energy be of benefit.



Saturday, June 8, 2013

Nature's Perfection






The Newly Arrived Wellsummer Hen's Egg.


Passiflora



Our composting area happens to be surrounded by the must luxurious populations of nettle and mullein.



The Indestructible - Cutting Through Nettle

Urtica Nettle


The Gentle & Far Seeing Mullein


Verbascum "mullein"





"Peonies" by Mary Oliver



This morning the green fists of the peonies are getting ready 
to break my heart
as the sun rises
as the sun strokes them with his old, buttery fingers

and they open --
pools of lace,
white and pink --
and all day the black ants climb over them,

boring their deep and mysterious holes
into the curls,
craving the sweet sap,
taking it away

to their dark, underground cities --
and all day
under the shifty wind,
as in a dance to the great wedding,

the flowers bend their bright bodies,
and tip their fragrance to the air,
and rise,
their stems holding

all that dampness and recklessness
gladly and lightly,
and there it is again --
beauty the brave, the exemplary

blazing open.
Do you love this world?
Do you cherish the humble and silky life?
Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath?

Do you also hurry, half dressed and barefoot, into the garden,
and softly,
and exclaiming of their dearness,
fill your arms with the white and pink flowers,

with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling,
their eagerness
to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are 
nothing, forever?

Monday, June 3, 2013

Flowers in Bloom

The season has had a bizarre feel to it.  Perhaps it is that we are in the seventeen year cycle of the cicada and so everywhere one steps, one finds a cicada or it's older skeleton self.  Maybe it is just the constant cicada hum in the air.  Perhaps it is the likely chance of encountering the slithering snake, which I have encountered more this year than in my entire life.  Perhaps due to the fact that we have entered the year of the water snake, perhaps because I am terrified of snakes, perhaps because snakes represent transformation and something is afoot. 

Within all of this strangeness, comes the clarity and explosion of flowers.  Embracing a flower deeply, inhaling it's fragrance, it's softness, it's velvet skin, the oddities evaporate.

I took some photographs of a few of the flowers in bloom.  I have to say that I went wild this season photographing peonies and included a few of them here.  I simply can not get enough of them.  I think in an attempt to possess the flower's beauty.  It's beauty is so immense I think one more photograph will make it more mine, more a part of me, more of a real experience.   Well whatever the case may be, I have enjoyed stalking the peony and will continue to do so.  I also experimented with about 60 stems, cooling them off when they were a bit past budded and will see if we can delay their bloom by a month.   


After walking quickly into the house as I had encountered an enormous rat snake in the garden, this snake was slithering with frightening skill up the porch beams.  Really! on my home.  Come on now.  You can see it's tail goes all the way up to the top left edge of the photograph.  

The Allium.  The first year we removed bulb after bulb from the garden of these alliums.  They were all over about half an acre, here and there.  Not until this year they bloomed.  Such a surprise!

It was Zach's birthday and one of our new lovely crew members, Allyson gave me a delicious carrot cake recipe.  Our friend Meg decorated it with me covering it in chamomile and bowles black violas.  

 
the fairy-like of all flowers: nigella, chervil and salad burnet.


a bird's paradise

The garden in bloom.  White clover abounds.  Kale throwing up it's flowers in yellow! Surrounded by the tight and perhaps slightly serious lettuce. 
Tomorrow those kales will be gone, so I wanted to send them out with a mention.

chamomile and chives

chamomile just harvested to be dried for tea


The Peony.






 and the sweet blooms begin.








As the rain came pouring through last night many peonies ravaged about.  
Stunning in their power, thrown down to the earth.
A flower seemingly too regal for such a display.

Maybe it will allow each of us in our own need to be perfect, 
to fall about and to really let it hang all out.