This morning, walking through apple blossom limbs. The overcast sky and wet fresh air puts the pink petals center. It is hard to peel away from the delectable hue. Circling about the trunks of these creatures and gazing, staring, imbibing.
And when I look at these blossoms, hanging, spilling over in their pinkness, some choosing to open up and other's wilting and worn and some tightly wound within them, it occurs to me that the individuality of each bud is insignificant. I am holding view for the entire tree. Accepting the complete show. Seeing God in the flowers fallen to the earth. Stepped on. Dripping with dust and smog. Flowers that might not make it to their full bloom as complete, satisfying, not an object in which judgements and condescend should fall upon. It is not simply today that these flowers are worshipped and beloved. Most often Nature's glory and perfection is magnetizing and appreciated in all her forms.
In this luminous scene I think about what it is to see myself as God and therefore to see everyone as God. The natural world reminds me of God, the felt God, and yet sometimes I forget that we humans are complete and perfect and God in all of our moments. It is a curious thing to witness perfection in nature, as if the human soul is something distinct of this masterpiece.
There are certain parts of me I like to keep hidden and I have fears that I am in moments desperately trying to avoid playing out in my future. I have judgements I lay on others, that are formed first by how I think I should be. And I know my own suffering and I experience the struggle and suffering of so many humans and animals and earthlings. And yet I am trying to understand what it is to be open to the flow of life in all it's forms, as suffering shows itself in the conceptual, phenomenal realm.
To open to the nature of change and the ups and downs. That when one is open and allowing difficulty and ease, and delight and anxiety to flow, it is no longer such a problem. It is no longer something to overcome as there is no longer that sense of resisting something. But rather opening and accepting and being in life.
Ram Dass talks about keeping the balance of humanity and divinity. To be empathetic to beings and to come from our hearts and at the same time have faith in the evolution of the universal law, the universal flow, the divine, the unknown.
Recently I have been quite tuned in to the instances I begin to feel my body contracting, or mind wandering into a feeling of revulsion. When this occurs I remind myself that this quality or action that I am refusing to accept that is creating this revulsion ~ is God.
This part of me, my karma, is not only a part of my path, but is my path and is my greatest teacher. When these old judgements are accepted, and not only accepted but worshiped, the tenseness of my body relaxes and I actually feel that all is well. Not simply well, but perfect. Breathing recommences and the tunnel of vision and appreciation widens. I am happy. As I do not have to fight the nature of being human. All that I love, and all that I am working on, is an expression of God and not some dark thing I need to hide in the corner, or something that needs to be avoided or changed at all costs.
May we each continue to see ourselves as God.
And may we see our world and all beings from this place.
To being human
Much love,
Olivia
