Investigating our Aliveness

Don't be afraid to be a mystery to yourself.  So many times we do things or take certain directions that we don't understand.  It is only much later that we see how that action fits perfectly and inevitably to the overall pattern of our life.  That is why it is so important to be willing to take a chance on our inspiration, our intuition, our hunger.  When we override our deepest desires with 'practical, reasonable' considerations we are not only wasting our time, we are passing up precious opportunities that will not come again.                                                                                          
                                                                                                                                    Reginald Ray



Unfurling petals.  Continuing to breath open to see.  Blooming further into myself, I can't seem to lose this intense itch.  Like decaying flowers -- falling open, or falling about somewhat awkwardly, free from agility, but free and true.  I keep pulling out that string from that unfurling hem.  Pulling out stitches, knowing that my dress is falling apart, but I just can't help it.  I want to see what will happen.  I have been staring for a while at this string and turning away, allowing my ideas of what should be, stop me.

***

I am seeing where my hunger leads.  Making small shifts so I can live in "free"dom all the time.  Serving our peoples and animals with the wild flora and elemental world ~ inherent to our well-being on so many levels.  Practicing listening and being here.  Being creative and loving.  Being decadent and raw.  Being chaos and order.  Sharing.

Learning how to be alive on my terms.

What are your terms of being alive?  
What do you need to feel alive?  

from my boundless heart to your boundless heart . . .

                             

I Love Myself, Therefore...

I have been really loving up positive affirmations.  Louise Hay is the inspiration.  Her book, You can Heal Your Life.  With every page I feel loved.  

I Love Myself, Therefore...has been so good when I start to tell myself I should be doing something other than what feels right.

Like, I Love Myself, Therefore I can go to yoga today and take care of everything else later on.  I Love Myself, Therefore I can wear my long underwear everywhere, even for meetings with strangers, because it feels right on for me and I am cozy.  I Love Myself, Therefore I will stop what I'm busy doing and drink a glass of water or make a nutritious meal. 

Snowy December Greenhouse

The other one I'm into these days is:

I deserve to be.... (fill in)
& I accept it now.  

I have been saying that I deserve to be in healthy and loving relationships and that I accept it now.  I can't say enough goods things about how it is transforming my relationships.  When I start to fall into my old patterns of thinking, old patterns of creating unnecessary drama or tension in my life, I come back to this simple affirmation.  And then I'm back to feeling alive and heartful and feeling so grateful to be a part of it all.  Her book covers all the genres in one's life if this doesn't resonate with you.

Crystallization & Glass Greenhouse Windows

My bedside reading has been poetry from the mystic teacher Kabir.  Born during the fourteenth or fifteenth century in India.  He often wrote on all beings having the capacity to find their own salvation and finding liberation solely through our own immediate experience.  It is within us, someone else does not hold the key to ourselves.

I read this bit the other night on forgetting our inner lover, our truth.  Getting wrapped up and entrapped by a delusional reality ~ by taking on the views of our childhood, our environment, our culture, as our truth.  Even when living is fantastic, this delusional reality lends itself to a subtle or not so subtle tinge of ickiness.  Some tinge of something not being right.  Even when we have the most radiant and blissful of days, there is something in the gut that whispers, "You are not radiant and blissful.  You must worry."  This only small part of the poem is a glimpse of that:

I talk to my inner lover, and I say, why such rush?  

We sense that there is some sort of spirit that loves birds and animals and ants -- 

perhaps the same one who gave a radiance to you in your mother's womb.  

Is it logical you would be walking around entirely orphaned now?

The truth is you turned away yourself, and decided to go into the dark alone.  

Now you are tangled up in others, and have forgotten what you once knew,

and that's why everything you do has some weird failure in it.

                                                                                                                     Kabir

Bunny, in all of his Playful Goodness

Joyful Winter Solstice to You!
May the darkest day of the year
help us see what we are ready now to let go of.
What we no longer need to carry from long ago.
What is not even ours to bear.

And May we welcome the New Light
with deep, unwavering self-love that is always there, complete, no matter how far we stray.

Soul Mate

Sunset, Staatsburg NY.  Getting Ready for a NEW DAWN of being.

Today is the day.  We must empower ourselves to be the ruler of our minds, the person that is in charge of our beliefs.  We need a new language of mental self-love.  We need a language that reminds us that we are in command.  Nobody makes decisions in our minds.  Not our ancestors, not our partners, not our children, not our bosses or friends.  WE ARE IT.

Let us behold the luminous light of each other and ourselves.  And the boundless, radiant, indescribable light that we are ~ will certainly become familiar once again.  We will remember our dearest of friends.  Our true soul mate: our light.

When we connect with other light beings, it will be filled with awe.  We can connect with each other from this place and simply feel good.  Feel life's depth, life's wildness, feel life's aliveness.

May we walk this path together and inspire each other 
to walk in our own unimaginable light and in deep love.

Taking A Break

Our last 2013 crew member departed today!  To me that marks the end of the season and the beginning of the new year.  I am very grateful to everything that was offered this year.  Everyone's energy and flexibility and basic presence.  What a year it has been.

2 months ago I put a pile of books on the table and suggested as part of our mindfulness classes, that we read one complete book ~ rather than just parts of books, which is what we had been doing to get through a lot of material and points of view.  We ended up reading Eckhart Tolle.  

Here is a nice reminder from Tolle's "A New Earth" of the value of stillness when all you want to do is create, or move, or do anything other than take a pause.

It has been said: "Stillness is the language God speaks, and everything else is a bad translation." Stillness is really another word for space.  Becoming conscious of stillness whenever we encounter it in our lives will connect us with the formless and timeless dimension within ourselves, that which beyond thought, beyond ego.  It may be the stillness that pervades the world of nature, or the stillness in your room in the early hours of the morning, or the silent gaps in between sounds.  Stillness has no form--that is why through thinking we cannot become aware of it.  Thought is form.  Being aware of stillness means to be still.  To be still is to be conscious without thought.  You are never more essentially, more deeply yourself than when you are still.  When you are still, you are who you were before you temporarily assumed this physical and mental form called a person.  You are also who you will be when the form dissolves.  When you are still, you are who you are beyond your temporal existence: consciousness -- unconditioned, formless, eternal.  (255-6)     

Montauk NY

Ode to Juliette de Bairacli Levy

Juliette de Bairacli Levy is known to many for reigniting the interest and trust in herbalism back in the west.  There are certainly many other peoples that have maintained the lineage of herbal medicine amongst their families and communities throughout this time, yet Juliette's wild and elegant ways of expressing her admiration for the plant world and what this worlds tends - air, water, animals, insects, human beings, spirit - has spoken loudly to many of us on our path to remembering.  Remembering to trust ourselves for answers, to educate ourselves on what we do not know, to have confidence in our earths' offerings and mysterious ways, and that no matter what direction we progress, to do so in reverence for all.

I like to give myself a monthly Juliette dose, to be reminded of all of these things and especially the wildness within ~ no matter how together or tame I can get or seem on the outside.

Here is a fantastic video on Juliette:
http://vimeo.com/18952969

Recently reading one of Juliette's books, Common Herbs for Natural Health ~at the back of the text she has a bit on Rosemary taken from Bankes Herball, a seventeenth century text.  Juliette has many practical and accessible suggestions on supporting well-being, so this is not what you will find in her books overall, yet I just so enjoyed merely reading through this bit, that I wanted to share...

Rosemary
Take the sweet flowres and make a powder therof and bynde it to the ryght arme in a lynen clothe and it shall make thee light and merrie.  Also take the flowres and put them in a chest amonge thy clothes or amonge bookes, and mougthes [moths] shall not hurte them.  Also boyle the leves in whyte wine and wasshe thy face therwith...thou shall have a fayre face.  Also put the leves under they bedded heed, and thou shall be delyvered of all evyll dremes.  Also take the leves and put them in a vessel of wyne...if thou sell that wyne, thou shall have good lucke and spede in the sale.  Also make thee a box of wood and smell it and it shall preserve thy youthe.  Also put thereof in thy doores or in they howse and thou shall be withoute dannger of adders and other venomous serpentes.  Also make thee a barell therof for the rayne and drynke thou of the drynke that standeth therin and thou needs to fere no poyson that shall hurte thee.  And if thou plante it in thy garden kepe it honestly for it is muche profytable.  (p. 193-4.)

Food of the Gods ~ Kitchari Recipe

This week, most of the large outdoor projects are winding down and soon it will be time to begin planning for 2014, harvesting winter crops!, ordering seed and reflecting on what went well and what could use some tweaking, or straight up abandoning.

With the changing of the seasons, it certainly feels like it is time to change my own daily routines.  One area is food.  Here is a great dish that can be munched from for days at a time.  It is a traditional Ayurvedic dish, Kitchari.

Now before you look at the recipe and think: "This is not for me!"  Let me tell you a few things.

Firstly,  I don't really do beans.  If I do, it's once in a while. as they just don't sit that well.  Mung beans are a different breed.  They are soaked in this recipe and are the most easily digested bean.  I've never had any issues.  Secondly, this recipe is both filling and cleansing.  Yes! this is possible.  Thirdly, it is delicious!

This is dish is commonly served in Indian hospitals for those with weak systems, needing a boost and for those with compromised digestive systems.  The combination of mung beans and rice attributes to this meal offering the essential amino acids to your diet.  The mung beans, rich in minerals and proteins, are also detoxifiers.

Our cleansing potential starts in the gut.  Our digestive system needs to be working and not stressed out.  By being fully nourished and stabilizing your blood sugar levels through this nourishment, your body does not go into starvation mentality - which many cleanses often encourage  Kitchari calmly allows your body to detox and remain whole.

Here is the recipe.  Enjoy!


1 cup mung beans (soak over night in the refrigerator with 3 cups of water)
10 cups water
6 cups chopped vegetable - (carrots, beets, cauliflower and so on, one type is just fine too!)
5-6 minced garlic
3 inch piece of minced ginger
2 onions chopped
2 teaspoons of each: turmeric, cumin, black mustard seeds
1/2 teaspoon black pepper, fenugreek seeds
1 cup rice (white is recommended for a true detox, as there is no hull so it is easier to digest)

optional: 
*square of bouillon cube or at the end add 3 tablespoons miso
*seaweed of your liking
*cooking greens (kale, collards...)

Directions:

Saute onions in butter, ghee or coconut oil.  As those are cooking down, chop ginger and garlic and add those into the mix.  Add spices.  Let all of this cook until the onions are translucent and everything is browned.  While you are waiting, chop up the veggies. I used simply carrots and collards last night and it was delicious, but ofcourse go for everything or whatever you have.

Once the onion blend is ready, pour in 10 cups of water.  Take the mung beans out of the fridge and rinse them a few times.  Add in the vegetables and a cup of rice and the mung beans to the pot of water and onions.  If you are adding seaweed and a bouillon square, do this now.

Put a lid on and bring the dish to a boil.  Once it reaches a boil, turn the heat down and keep the pot simmering.  Cook for about 45 minutes.

If you have any cooking greens chop these up and add now.  Let simmer for another 15 minutes.
Once the soup is done if you are adding miso, toss it on in, turn off the heat of the pot and keep the lid on so the miso absorbs into your soup.

Viola!

Seasons Turning: Fall on the Farm

I so want to write so much about everything, but haven't had the chance.  So for now, more photos.  Enjoy!

Tenders potted and bundled in greenhouse for wintery fun: rosemary, gotu kola, lemon verbena and cuttings, as well as a many many lettuce heads

Butter Heads

Practice Makes Perfect

Loading up for a wedding

Beautiful Allyson and our first harvest of Ashwagandha

Majestic Poke Root

The Winter Squash Cure

You are So Good.

My beloved child, break your heart no longer.

Each time you judge yourself, you break your own heart;

you stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality.

The time has come. Your time to live, to celebrate.

And to see the goodness that you are.

You, my child, are Divine. You are pure. You are sublimely free.

You are God in disguise and you’re always perfectly safe.

Do not fight the dark, just turn on the light.

Let go and Breathe in to Goodness that you are.

~Swami Kripalu

Yes

In thinking about what I want to create.  How I can step into happiness, not a world of "should" but a world of "yes" and "want." Brainstorming an alivelihood of medicine ~ medicine of the heart and mind, medicine of the plant world, both food and herbs ~ I want to come from the heart and be clear in my process of stepping forward.  I have for now a spontaneous run of thoughts on my intentions:

The intention of being a part of the plant world through plant medicine, is understanding how these radiant green beings can help the beautiful beings in this world, to bring them back to see their goodness.  I really want people to heal and be free.  Be joyful.  Love themselves so deeply that they live.  They cry blessings of sunshine.  Blessings of this world.  Blessing of heart, the limitless kindness that is within each being.  To recreate the idea of what we are ~ what is possible. 

To be supportive enough that even when our dear beings of this world are terrified and must travel through much fear, and must be courageous, they know that another heart is sitting closely to their heart.  Tirelessly loving them and watching over their heart to make sure it knows that their courage is not being overlooked.  That they are being seen for all that they are breaking open, all that they are. 

To be supportive enough that each being can connect to that place deep deep within and can rest there and come from there and in the now moment can transform everything.  Can beam light in all directions and can wash away the worry, the anxiety the stress, the disappointment.   Can let the past go and all the present possibility to run its rich vital vibrations up and down the body, into the earth, up to the cosmos. 

My intention is that each being I work with, or that makes a connection to the power of plant medicine, the power of their own boundless heart, the power of their thoughts and dreams, of food medicine ~ feels the divine, the grace within their soul and the pulsation and freedom.  And reawakens the reality that they can be entirely and gratefully themselves.

The path swells and grows out from a tender heart, a heart that feels like the sweet and fragile earthen moss, and the strong and raging river.  From here we are free.  And when we see eachother, we see ourselves and this sense of separation dissolves and there is no struggle.  Breath.  Let everything go.  Take in this medicine...  

What do you truly want?

Believe in it!

Let's start to be true to ourself, stay close to our heart and think honestly about what brings us deep joy.  What we do in our day that is a feeling of relief and ease and bliss.  It can be those tiny moments.  They each matter.

Believe in the world we want!

And if there are moments we think we're crazy!

it's okay.  One day these thoughts will not be crazy because we will be manifesting them.  

with love 
&
to trust in our own potential of happiness

Gratitude for Autumn's Beginning

George & Patrick - Beet Cleaning Hang Session

I had the most exceptional trip a few hours northwest of here.  Life changing.  Here are a couple of the dear darlings and muses that I spent time with.

Cutting Celery, Lemon Basil, Ginger

Green Coriander & Green Dill Seed

Chard, Lemongrass, Lemon Verbena

Burdock&Zinnia

Allyson harvesting lettuce heads

Kale, Collard, Beet, Cauliflower Varieties, Spinach

Baby Ginger

Our new friend Bunny hanging in his usual spot

 

Lettuce Head Mania! The Johnny's Salanova Breed.  

Zach's sister and brother-in-law welcomed a new life into this world about a week ago.  She is a sweet soul, that smells heavenly baby.  It has been such a delight to spend time with their family.  Here is their 2 year old son.  A spirited and thoughtful one.

 

Yesterday's Shitake Harvest

Gathering bundles of sage for future smudge sticks

Thank you to all of the bounty of this season.  

Bounty of nature's nurturement, of good friends, clean air, and for the constant path of learning and understanding --