the ultimate implication of the words "peace on earth" is to remove altogether the ideas of peace and war and to open yourself equally and completely to the positive and negative aspects of the world. It is like seeing the world from an aerial point of view: there is light, there is dark; both are accepted. You are not trying to defend light against dark... The problem we seem to be facing is that we are too involved with trying to prove something, which is connected with paranoia and the feeling of poverty. When you are trying to prove or get something, you are not open anymore, you have to check everything, you have to arrange it "correctly." It is such a paranoid way to live and it really does not prove anything. One might set records in terms of numbers and quantities--that we have built the greatest, the biggest, we have collected the most, the longest, the most gigantic. But who is going to remember the record when you are dead? Or in one hundred years? Or in ten years? Or in ten minutes? The records that count are those of the given moment, of now--whether or not communication and openness are taking place now. -Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism CTR
Moving towards darkness is light-filled and expansive. The hours of farm tending are fewer and I am left with time to research and plan for next season and for creativity, practice, and kinship. I am so thankful that the farm forces me to move in the cold air to keep my spirits bright and so relieved to have time for other parts of my nourishment.
The other day, I nestled into my napping corner with my notebook filled with the goodness of life. Pink ink in hand, I wrote up a dreamy schedule for the high and low season. After writing it up, I realized that this could be reality. I'm not saying I want to live my life by a schedule, but I am saying that it helps to put on paper to see what slight adjustments can be made to the present passings to fit in something that seems impossible. For instance, I am practicing in the morning for an hour an a half. I am so grateful to have this time and it is so possible. So yes, this time in my life involves a lot of future visioning and it can be filled with impatience and jealousy. It is the activity of salivating to be in a situation I am not because I am excited. The feeling of excitement is energizing but then I am not here and I am not open to here. And here is an ultimately splendid setting. Here is perfect. It is! This excitement is also an attachment to something that is specifically light and fixed.
I do not want to push away the darkness as without it it, light could not exist and darkness is where I am challenged most to ripen. I also want to be alive. And that can not exist in a plan. My thoughts are not living. It is the moments of daily connection. The low light of a late autumnal afternoon shining above the river and through the trees. It is the red cardinal fluttering and flying quickly from branch to branch and for a moment sitting on my window sill sharing space together. It is the warmth of a complete embrace. When I step outwards and rest here, I realize that I can hold visioning and presencing. It does take attentiveness and for me, the re-cultivation of attention. Onward! heaven & earth-awareness. May we hold it all gracefully and happily. It is possible.
